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Today. January 27, 2009. This day marks nine months from the day the decision was made, the hope rekindled. And yet, after all the hoping, all the waiting, all the heartache… today feels like the end.
Let us go back to the beginning of the story.
It’s a story of love and pain, of faith and heartache. It’s the story of a Rochester College employee, Rebekah Pinchback. She has worked at RC for just under two years, and is currently the Office Manager for Academic Services. But, back to the story.
In June 2002, two high school sweethearts, Ben and Rebekah Pinchback, were married after dating for four years.
After about two years of marriage, the desire to grow a family surfaced for the couple. For the first few years, they tried the old fashioned way, without medical intervention. When it became clear that something was wrong, they worked with an infertility clinic for another year and a half.
“The last thing we did before we walked away was insemination,” Rebekah said.
For weeks leading up to the procedure, both Ben and Rebekah were monitored through countless appointments. For the insemination to work, everything had to be just right.
“Finally, the day comes,” Rebekah remembered. “And on the day that we were getting inseminated, everything was perfect. I never even entertained the idea that it wasn’t going to work. And so then when it didn’t work, a couple weeks later, it was devastating.”
Within days, the endocrinologist called from the infertility clinic, ready for them to come back in and figure out a new plan of action. But they had reached a point where enough was enough. Knowing they couldn’t go through any more infertility treatments, they walked away.
“From October to January was probably the darkest time in my life,” Rebekah said. “We weren’t talking about adoption, and so for us, there was just no hope.”
In January 2008, she began to bring up adoption. At the time, Ben was completely against the idea.
“I think a lot of it is because we had gone through so much,” Rebekah said. “I mean, it is such an emotional process when you’re trying to do something that everybody else can. I think he just couldn’t even entertain the idea.”
During this time, Rebekah prayed that God would help her deal with the situation, whether that meant changing Ben’s heart toward adoption, or helping her to be satisfied with no children. She and her best friend began to pray together weekly, not only for a baby, but also for their families.
“We prayed for a full month,” Rebekah recalled, “And at the end of the month, one night we were laying in bed and Ben said, ‘Okay, I think I’m ready to adopt.’”
That was April 27, 2008. By April 29, they had submitted their application to an adoption agency, and Rebekah started a blog documenting their journey. (You can visit it at www. rebekahpinchback.blogspot.com)
In order to adopt a child, they went through an intimidating home study process, interviews, federal and criminal background checks, fingerprinting, and full physicals.
“We weren’t prepared for how hard it was going to be,” Rebekah said. “If they did this for every parent, people wouldn’t be allowed to have children. It’s just that crazy.”
The whole process took four months. On August 27, the agency put them into the pool of families waiting for a child. That date marked another season of waiting.
The 27th of each month was anticipated, as Rebekah waited for a phone call telling her how many families had looked at their profile at the agency. For the next five months, not one family did.
“Now when I look back, it doesn’t seem that long,” Rebekah said. “But in those months, it was so hard. We had just lost our hope… We felt like this was never going to happen.”
One Sunday, in early January 2009, Rebekah sat in church with Ben. “Lord,” she cried, “I have nothing left to say. I have nothing left to give.”
“I couldn’t even argue anymore,” she said. “I was so exhausted. I was just sitting there, and I felt like this empty shell. And I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me, I am faithful.”
January 27, 2009 rolled around. This day marked nine long months from the day they had decided to adopt.
“I woke up with a heavy heart on Tuesday, January 27th,” Rebekah blogged, “and on my drive into work, I questioned God for the umpteenth time, on what the heck he was doing. I bitterly threw out, "the least you could do is have the agency call, today... give me some sign of hope." I reminded him that every other woman would be having her baby, today.”
At lunchtime, Rebekah saw she had a voicemail from Ben. It said, “Honey, call me back right away, the agency called.” I am faithful.
The situation was unlike any the agency had ever dealt with before.
First, the birth mother who had chosen Ben and Rebekah was not even registered with their agency. She stumbled across Rebekah’s blog, and knew in her heart that they were the family God had made for her baby. I am faithful.
"I clicked on the link and as soon as their blog came up I started jumping up and down,” the birth mother wrote. “I KNEW it was them. I started reading and it only confirmed that it was."
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