I’m just a burden to my friends,
If I don’t exist their troubles end,
They try to be genuine, but I still think it’s pretend,
I feel like a joke,
People laugh and poke then say “jk”
But I’m still offended anyway,
’Cause there’s something wrong with me,
I don’t deserve to be here,
So I’ll go, and NO!
This isn’t a cry for attention.
In fact my intentions have nothing to do with you,
Just wait a few moments, and my life will be through.

My family says it’s just a stage,
And it will pass with age,
They send me to a stranger with a Ph.D.
Who’s paid to listen to me,
Ding! Time’s up here’s the bill,
If you’re an expert why do I still hate the person I see in the mirror,
I’ve cried so much I’m out of tears,
And I’m sick of waiting for God to show up,
If he really cares why is this so tough,
Maybe ’cause he doesn’t love me,
Yeah, that’s what it’s gotta be,
I’m probably his mistake,
So I’ll jump into the lake,
And wait till I’m out of breath,
’Cause the only solution is death.

’Cause I don’t want to live anymore,
So I go behind closed doors,
And I turn off the lights then cut and burn,
’Cause this is the pain I’ve earned,
They think I’m numb and treat me like scum,
But I’m human and it hurts, I feel like a desert,
And no one cares about this rope around my throat,
I left my final note,
I’m sick of trying to float on this sinking boat,
And the waters are over my head,
And I already feel dead,
You could say, “Don’t you dare!
You’ll go to hell!”  Well, I’m already there.

Everything I do is wrong,
No point in faking I’m strong,
So swallow the pills and it won’t be long,
But something is holding me back,
No, don’t think; just act,
Pull the trigger on this gun and BAM!
It’s done.

But now I see a place,
Where everyone’s face is covered in black veils,
I see candles and hear wails,
There’s not one smile, only frowns,
And the feeling of grief surrounds the room,
Even the flowers can’t end the gloom,
But this can’t be my fault,
My death was supposed to result in relief,
Not disbelief of what I’ve done,
I thought you’d be happy that I’m gone.
You never shared how much you cared,
Now it’s too late,
Why did you all wait?

But I guess I waited, too,
’Cause they never knew I felt this way,
I was afraid what they might say,
And they could have told someone else,
So I kept it to myself.

Then I see out of the corner of my eye my closest friend,
I never liked to see her cry,
And as the tears fall, I overhear her recall that day,
When she asked if I was okay,
I said yes, but she knew it wasn’t true,
But she didn’t know what to do,
So she walked away,
And didn’t even remember to pray,
Then she got a call that night,
And drove right to the site,
And saw the flashing lights,
Stunned and shocked, she still hasn’t forgot
The body bag lying on the lot,
And repeating the thought, “I’m too late”
And to this date she takes the blame,
every time she hers my name,
She will be reminded of her shame.

But this isn’t her fault,
This assault was my choice,
But she can’t her my voice,
No one can ’cause I’m just a name on a stone,
Nothing left but bones and memories that won’t last,
Another cross to pass,
Another number in the facts.
But I had so much more to do and give,
Why did I wait till death to live?
Things weren’t as bad as they seemed,
Wake me up from this dream, no nightmare,
I swear it will be different this time,
Please don’t leave me behind.

Then I hear a whisper in my ear,
“Child, you were never alone,
I heard every cry and moan,
And I felt every cut of the knife,
And life is my gift to you,
And your days are already few,
So don’t cut them short,
’Cause death is not the last resort.
Child, I love you so much I sent my own Son to die alone,
So you wouldn’t have to tonight,
I will help you fight,
I will be the light even in your darkest night,
And when you don’t feel strong,
You’ve got me to lean on,
Cause I’m never too far,
And let me heal those scars with love you’ve never known,
And someday I’ll call you home,
But for now put down the gun,
’cause I’m not done with you,
In fact, I’ve only begun.”